it was an hour a go i cried by my self for some worries last nite, i dream, about his mother. just a simple 'scene' actually. she called me and ask "can u call him?" and i answered "yes" "ask him to call me" she said. the situation in that dream was almost the same like what happened in my real life that i couldn't reach him, and its make me feel like "it was so real". soon as i woke up, i wondering by my self "what was that dream means?" even i met him today,i didn't have any opportunity to tell. so i just keep it by my self. until few hours a go, he updated his status about how important a mother's words, three times more important than father's. i ask "why?" i mean, there probably a 'background' of that status, the reason why he wrote it.but there was no answer. more over, he just arrived in his hometown at that time. it makes me wonder "did his mother say something to him? what was it? was it related to our relationship?" hhh...my insting.sometimes it could become so crazy but then remember our last picture i combined it with other picture of me n him by picasa.and it come out nice...see :)

seeing this picture, suddenly i feel better (absurd,huh?hehe) and now, i am ready to start recapitulating data in this late of nite? well, better late than never rite?:)

three things and an additional :)

dear blog... hai baby baby sayang mwach mwach kamu tau kemaren tempo lalu (halah!) ada seseorang yang mencoba mengganggu ketenangan hubungan kita.haha.yah ga gitu2 banget sih..maksudnya baik..katanya mesti describe or at least mention my resolution for next year,yang harus ada realisasinya or at least keliatan effort buat mewujudkannya di Idul Fitri taun depan.. jlebb! guweee yang selama ini hidup adem ayem (baca:sesuka hati) bersama blog ini, yang artinya kalo mau ngisi ya ngisi..kalo ga ya,ga usah.repot amat.mendadak merasa didikte.. well as i've said before maksudnya si teman sih baik or at least ga ada maksud buat 'mengganggu' jadi... yah untuk sekarang mari kita jadikan perkara 'resolusi2' itu sebagai PE-ER dulu.wokeh sekarang, saya mau kangen2an ma blog dulu huhuyy mwach pertama tentang menk sepulangnya menk dari kota kelahirannya, he trreats me a lot better, seriously. berasa gitu eksistensinya di hari-hari saya without me have to looking hard for him first.and also, i found him more mature than i've ever thought before. his knowledge about religion is o lot better than me(hehe).eummm apa lagi yah.aduh.mulai sekaratly subjektif nih.kalo disuruh ngemeng tentang menk mpe 10 episode juga ga selesai2.hehe kedua, bo, guweh kehilangan soulmate (tapi qo gaya ngomong lu kyknya lg girang pep?ga kyk orang yang lg kehilangan) (weitz.mood saia lagi bagus mamen) doski pergi 2 tahun buat sekulah.dan seperti kepergian dia yang sebelum2nya: i didnt say good bye properly. man!siapa yang ga benci saying 'good bye' bedanya, klo orang2 bisa dengan fluently dan touchy nya saying good bye, nah saia malah bisa berakting biasa2 aja.as if nothing happen gitu.padahaaaaalll..dari hari ultahnya,jadi aja gue nangis 2 hari berturut-turut.hahhhh ketiga, soal kerjaan nih aq merasa ga capable lagi ngajar di lia, banyak kehilangan ide buat menghidupkan suasana kelas.kenapa ya? tapi kalo soal ngajar di gunung, gini nih..ngajar oke.yang ga oke, aku sering dapet tugas dari kepsek buat menyelesaikan perkara administratif.man!muarnya onda beudak udak berkas tuh.walaupun saia tau, posisi saia cuma buat bantu-bantu, karena faktanya kepsek menyelesaikan perkara administrasi sekolah jauh lebih banyak dari pada saya.hhh....ni gara-gara sekolah ga punya pegawai TU lagi nih,jadi aja,saia repot.Ya Allah.....kirimkan kami pegawai TU yang capable ya Allah...amin. oya tadi pagi sambil ngolah berkas, kami (saya dibantu menk), ngobrol dari tentang hubungan antara doa dan usaha;sahabat yang mencari amalan masuk surga;khadijah n aisyah;sampai tau-tau menk bilang "gini pep, menk lupa terus ngasih tau,kalo saya mati nanti kamu sedihnya jangan lebih dari 3 hari" *deg* "kenapa menk" "karena memang wanita tidak boleh sedih berlebihan kecuali untuk suaminya" apa yang yang muter2 di kepala saia bukan "kenapa ga boleh sedih" tapi "kenapa tiba2 punya bayangan one day dia bakal ninggalin saia dengan cara yang sesadis itu?" it something that never crossed in my mind before suddenly it bother me so much,seriously. it just...too scary to imagine that scary so i changed my pray (me and armin had a wish,a wish that we cant accomplished just by our own effort.so we promised to mention this wish in every prayer) and it becomes: Ya Allah, berikanlah dia kesehatan dan umur panjang.amin hwoaaa..mata saia panas kita jumpa lagi lain waktu anyeong~